There is still quite a lot of anger stored up inside this normally gentle man. He's lashing out unexpectedly, he gets quite angry about things that didn't bother him before.
He says he's come to terms with the lay-off, but he'll burrow down into some anger that seems to be bubbling just below the surface.
God bless him, he's trying to figure out what he wants to do now that he has the chance to change his life. In a perfect world, we would have enough money from all the stock that he purchased back when it was $42 a share, up to $102 a share. Unfortunately, all that he bought is now selling at $5.74 a share. You can't lean back on that. And you can only take $3K a year in loss. Guess we have to start selling that now or we'll never be able to get any benefit from all that loss.
MEANWHILE, back at the ranch, things are slow. Some days he apparently isn't even getting dressed. Other days he's up and out early. So, I'm not going to fret. He IS sleeping much better than he did over the last four months. He even mentions it. Then he'll digress into "but HE still has a job" kinds of comments. That was one uncomfortable dinner Saturday night. Two guys who were laid off and me. I truly didn't know what to say...or what NOT to say.
And so it goes...
Showing posts with label challenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label challenge. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
Day One - The Search and Finding Center
We are NOW on the official first day of the unemployment/employment search/career makeover. I headed off to work, but he was up when I left. After receiving his regular WORK emails (his last day was Friday) all weekend, they closed his profile, so he no longer got those emails on his phone. He felt obligated (after 22 years, I think it was just habit) to respond to them in such a way that it didn't appear that he was still there, but didn't just flat out say, "I'm not there now!"
He has to determine where to file for unemployment. I think he can file where he worked. (we live in a community that spans a state line). Several folks I know who live in one state but work in another file in the other state (not the one where they live). He doesn't believe me. What can I say. I know nothing. I've accepted that.
I'd be happy if he cleaned or unloaded the dishwasher today. Most likely, he'll do some laundry and vacuum.
I can't begin to understand what he's experiencing. Yesterday there were some loud exchanges and then the rest of the day was silence. I don't know if I can keep myself mellow while he goes on this journey of self-discovery. I think this may be my outlet.
Brace yourself, Eppie, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!
He has to determine where to file for unemployment. I think he can file where he worked. (we live in a community that spans a state line). Several folks I know who live in one state but work in another file in the other state (not the one where they live). He doesn't believe me. What can I say. I know nothing. I've accepted that.
I'd be happy if he cleaned or unloaded the dishwasher today. Most likely, he'll do some laundry and vacuum.
I can't begin to understand what he's experiencing. Yesterday there were some loud exchanges and then the rest of the day was silence. I don't know if I can keep myself mellow while he goes on this journey of self-discovery. I think this may be my outlet.
Brace yourself, Eppie, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Here Endeth The Employment
The big day has come and gone. Every day, he brought home files/books/his history at the company (these were NOT company files or property -- he even left the folders).
He said it was much better to do it little by little, rather than one huge move out. (It was better for me, too...I didn't have to act as pack mule.) The shock was less.
On Tuesday night, he composed an email to people who were important to him over the last 22 years at the company. He sent it out Wednesday night. By Thursday morning, he had multiple emails and cards. He had visits from folks who hadn't seen him since they started.
One guy he REALLY wanted to say goodbye to was out on vacation. About mid-day, he stopped by the men's room and as he left, he was pushing the door open, and there stood the guy who was on vacation, pulling the door open. He was stopping by to see him. (That sounds kind of weird, but it was weird in another way.)
They talked, he had lunch with several friends, some of whom were leaving, too.
The guy who was left in charge of the area hubby had been working in called him over and started picking his brain. He was asked questions that his former boss had never asked- she had been disconnected from the team for the entire time they were in place. Just a strange set up from the beginning. Kind of a "step closer to the door" if you ask me.
By Friday, as he was headed to HR to begin the process, one of his good friends, nearly a "brother from another mother", was also on his way. They kind of came into the company about the same time and here they were, leaving.
They kind of freaked out the HR ladies. I don't think they got to see a whole lot of people cracking jokes and making light of the situation like these two did.
He turned in the computer and left the campus one last time. It's a different company now than it was 22 years ago. But he's a different man than he was 22 years ago. Our lives are different. No kids at home, bills are minimal, and we can do what we want to.
Next: set up the company, sign up for unemployment, and determine where to go next.
He said it was much better to do it little by little, rather than one huge move out. (It was better for me, too...I didn't have to act as pack mule.) The shock was less.
On Tuesday night, he composed an email to people who were important to him over the last 22 years at the company. He sent it out Wednesday night. By Thursday morning, he had multiple emails and cards. He had visits from folks who hadn't seen him since they started.
One guy he REALLY wanted to say goodbye to was out on vacation. About mid-day, he stopped by the men's room and as he left, he was pushing the door open, and there stood the guy who was on vacation, pulling the door open. He was stopping by to see him. (That sounds kind of weird, but it was weird in another way.)
They talked, he had lunch with several friends, some of whom were leaving, too.
The guy who was left in charge of the area hubby had been working in called him over and started picking his brain. He was asked questions that his former boss had never asked- she had been disconnected from the team for the entire time they were in place. Just a strange set up from the beginning. Kind of a "step closer to the door" if you ask me.
By Friday, as he was headed to HR to begin the process, one of his good friends, nearly a "brother from another mother", was also on his way. They kind of came into the company about the same time and here they were, leaving.
They kind of freaked out the HR ladies. I don't think they got to see a whole lot of people cracking jokes and making light of the situation like these two did.
He turned in the computer and left the campus one last time. It's a different company now than it was 22 years ago. But he's a different man than he was 22 years ago. Our lives are different. No kids at home, bills are minimal, and we can do what we want to.
Next: set up the company, sign up for unemployment, and determine where to go next.
Monday, September 30, 2013
The Second Week, What Have We Learned?
We now have the separation agreement. Ironically, they notified him less than 24 hours before his 22nd anniversary with the company. So less than 24 hours gets him two weeks less severance pay.
It's good that this is a new start, a time for him to move to a new opportunity. Who knew that a new opportunity would be a good thing to us at this point in our lives.
I thought life would be more ... in control ... more settled.
This is as much a challenge for me as it is for him. A challenge of confidence, compassion, strength, and faith.
So...tomorrow, I get up and start walking. Hit the treadmill and burn off some of this stress. Now is not the time to ask why I haven't done more with my life. Now is the time to support him, get him back on his path, and get our future secure. Lord, I ask that you lift me up to be a better person, to be a stronger person, and to be nurturing to this man who has dedicated his life to me.
It's good that this is a new start, a time for him to move to a new opportunity. Who knew that a new opportunity would be a good thing to us at this point in our lives.
I thought life would be more ... in control ... more settled.
This is as much a challenge for me as it is for him. A challenge of confidence, compassion, strength, and faith.
So...tomorrow, I get up and start walking. Hit the treadmill and burn off some of this stress. Now is not the time to ask why I haven't done more with my life. Now is the time to support him, get him back on his path, and get our future secure. Lord, I ask that you lift me up to be a better person, to be a stronger person, and to be nurturing to this man who has dedicated his life to me.
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