There is still quite a lot of anger stored up inside this normally gentle man. He's lashing out unexpectedly, he gets quite angry about things that didn't bother him before.
He says he's come to terms with the lay-off, but he'll burrow down into some anger that seems to be bubbling just below the surface.
God bless him, he's trying to figure out what he wants to do now that he has the chance to change his life. In a perfect world, we would have enough money from all the stock that he purchased back when it was $42 a share, up to $102 a share. Unfortunately, all that he bought is now selling at $5.74 a share. You can't lean back on that. And you can only take $3K a year in loss. Guess we have to start selling that now or we'll never be able to get any benefit from all that loss.
MEANWHILE, back at the ranch, things are slow. Some days he apparently isn't even getting dressed. Other days he's up and out early. So, I'm not going to fret. He IS sleeping much better than he did over the last four months. He even mentions it. Then he'll digress into "but HE still has a job" kinds of comments. That was one uncomfortable dinner Saturday night. Two guys who were laid off and me. I truly didn't know what to say...or what NOT to say.
And so it goes...
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
Day One - The Search and Finding Center
We are NOW on the official first day of the unemployment/employment search/career makeover. I headed off to work, but he was up when I left. After receiving his regular WORK emails (his last day was Friday) all weekend, they closed his profile, so he no longer got those emails on his phone. He felt obligated (after 22 years, I think it was just habit) to respond to them in such a way that it didn't appear that he was still there, but didn't just flat out say, "I'm not there now!"
He has to determine where to file for unemployment. I think he can file where he worked. (we live in a community that spans a state line). Several folks I know who live in one state but work in another file in the other state (not the one where they live). He doesn't believe me. What can I say. I know nothing. I've accepted that.
I'd be happy if he cleaned or unloaded the dishwasher today. Most likely, he'll do some laundry and vacuum.
I can't begin to understand what he's experiencing. Yesterday there were some loud exchanges and then the rest of the day was silence. I don't know if I can keep myself mellow while he goes on this journey of self-discovery. I think this may be my outlet.
Brace yourself, Eppie, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!
He has to determine where to file for unemployment. I think he can file where he worked. (we live in a community that spans a state line). Several folks I know who live in one state but work in another file in the other state (not the one where they live). He doesn't believe me. What can I say. I know nothing. I've accepted that.
I'd be happy if he cleaned or unloaded the dishwasher today. Most likely, he'll do some laundry and vacuum.
I can't begin to understand what he's experiencing. Yesterday there were some loud exchanges and then the rest of the day was silence. I don't know if I can keep myself mellow while he goes on this journey of self-discovery. I think this may be my outlet.
Brace yourself, Eppie, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Here Endeth The Employment
The big day has come and gone. Every day, he brought home files/books/his history at the company (these were NOT company files or property -- he even left the folders).
He said it was much better to do it little by little, rather than one huge move out. (It was better for me, too...I didn't have to act as pack mule.) The shock was less.
On Tuesday night, he composed an email to people who were important to him over the last 22 years at the company. He sent it out Wednesday night. By Thursday morning, he had multiple emails and cards. He had visits from folks who hadn't seen him since they started.
One guy he REALLY wanted to say goodbye to was out on vacation. About mid-day, he stopped by the men's room and as he left, he was pushing the door open, and there stood the guy who was on vacation, pulling the door open. He was stopping by to see him. (That sounds kind of weird, but it was weird in another way.)
They talked, he had lunch with several friends, some of whom were leaving, too.
The guy who was left in charge of the area hubby had been working in called him over and started picking his brain. He was asked questions that his former boss had never asked- she had been disconnected from the team for the entire time they were in place. Just a strange set up from the beginning. Kind of a "step closer to the door" if you ask me.
By Friday, as he was headed to HR to begin the process, one of his good friends, nearly a "brother from another mother", was also on his way. They kind of came into the company about the same time and here they were, leaving.
They kind of freaked out the HR ladies. I don't think they got to see a whole lot of people cracking jokes and making light of the situation like these two did.
He turned in the computer and left the campus one last time. It's a different company now than it was 22 years ago. But he's a different man than he was 22 years ago. Our lives are different. No kids at home, bills are minimal, and we can do what we want to.
Next: set up the company, sign up for unemployment, and determine where to go next.
He said it was much better to do it little by little, rather than one huge move out. (It was better for me, too...I didn't have to act as pack mule.) The shock was less.
On Tuesday night, he composed an email to people who were important to him over the last 22 years at the company. He sent it out Wednesday night. By Thursday morning, he had multiple emails and cards. He had visits from folks who hadn't seen him since they started.
One guy he REALLY wanted to say goodbye to was out on vacation. About mid-day, he stopped by the men's room and as he left, he was pushing the door open, and there stood the guy who was on vacation, pulling the door open. He was stopping by to see him. (That sounds kind of weird, but it was weird in another way.)
They talked, he had lunch with several friends, some of whom were leaving, too.
The guy who was left in charge of the area hubby had been working in called him over and started picking his brain. He was asked questions that his former boss had never asked- she had been disconnected from the team for the entire time they were in place. Just a strange set up from the beginning. Kind of a "step closer to the door" if you ask me.
By Friday, as he was headed to HR to begin the process, one of his good friends, nearly a "brother from another mother", was also on his way. They kind of came into the company about the same time and here they were, leaving.
They kind of freaked out the HR ladies. I don't think they got to see a whole lot of people cracking jokes and making light of the situation like these two did.
He turned in the computer and left the campus one last time. It's a different company now than it was 22 years ago. But he's a different man than he was 22 years ago. Our lives are different. No kids at home, bills are minimal, and we can do what we want to.
Next: set up the company, sign up for unemployment, and determine where to go next.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
What I Want to be When I Grow Up
Last night, the hubs dropped a bomb. After working for 22 years and increasing in responsibilities, naturally, he feels he has to start from scratch. "no skills". "What do you think about me becoming a para-legal?" I seriously thought he was kidding -- along the lines of "Greeter at Wal-Mart" or "Taxi Driver". Nope. Serious as a heart-attack.
What am I supposed to do? He's now looked - fleetingly - at job opportunities. This change of events happened for a reason, and he's freaking out now. Perhaps he can spend $65,000 and get a $35,000 per year job is what he's thinking. You know, if it is really something he wants to do, then I'm fine, but if he's already grasping at straws, well, we're going to have a little problem.
We were going to have a run at a business, but now he's just jumping at "oh shit" level.
Where do I go from here. I am going to have to let him storm for a little bit, and if I mention that he should storm for a while, I'll just set him off. He's all about it's ALL about him now, and making me feel guilty if I don't embrace all of his flight paths.
I pretty much just wanted to throw up last night, thinking if I can't change this path, I can at least drop that last meal.
I don't think he's seeing the big picture. If he takes a job that pays so little, we cannot afford insurance, there will be no money for life insurance, and we'll be another one of those poor couples who can barely eek out a living until they die with no insurance and the other one has to go live with one of the children in a back bedroom only to go just a little crazy. Suzy-Freaking-Sunshine, eh?
Yeah, this is ALL about him and his well-being, until I'm the one who dies early and he goes nuts, or vice-versa.
What am I supposed to do? He's now looked - fleetingly - at job opportunities. This change of events happened for a reason, and he's freaking out now. Perhaps he can spend $65,000 and get a $35,000 per year job is what he's thinking. You know, if it is really something he wants to do, then I'm fine, but if he's already grasping at straws, well, we're going to have a little problem.
We were going to have a run at a business, but now he's just jumping at "oh shit" level.
Where do I go from here. I am going to have to let him storm for a little bit, and if I mention that he should storm for a while, I'll just set him off. He's all about it's ALL about him now, and making me feel guilty if I don't embrace all of his flight paths.
I pretty much just wanted to throw up last night, thinking if I can't change this path, I can at least drop that last meal.
I don't think he's seeing the big picture. If he takes a job that pays so little, we cannot afford insurance, there will be no money for life insurance, and we'll be another one of those poor couples who can barely eek out a living until they die with no insurance and the other one has to go live with one of the children in a back bedroom only to go just a little crazy. Suzy-Freaking-Sunshine, eh?
Yeah, this is ALL about him and his well-being, until I'm the one who dies early and he goes nuts, or vice-versa.
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